The Plus Side To Long Distance

In the words of Chris Martin, nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard…

My boyfriend and I have been long distance since day one, so we should have known what we were getting into. Although never really that close, we had known each other for about six years before we started dating, which happened mostly online. In fact, apart from our initial first two dates (an accidental date while in search of wifi and a six-hour chat in an old church, which began at about 1am), it wasn’t until I made the bold move of travelling on a boat for twelve hours to see if he was actually into me or not that we spent any real time face to face. Concerning the bold move; he was into me, luckily.

No one I knew that well, if anyone I knew, had been in a long distance relationship before, so I had no point of reference of what it should be like. For the last two and a half years, my boyfriend and I have seen each other for about a week every month. Sometimes it’s more time together and less time apart. Last December, for example, we spent almost a full month together, travelling between mine for Christmas and his for New Years. Other times, we’re not so lucky. Last summer it was a ten-week wait for just ten days together in September. Sometimes it feels like I’ve skipped the whole ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ and gone straight to ‘distance makes you desperate’.

However, this isn’t a post about what’s bad about long distance, because that’s pretty obvious. This is what makes long-distance good because believe it or not, there are some upsides to living three hundred miles away from the boy you love.

1. Learning to be independent. If you read any Cosmo article on the upsides of being single in your early twenties, independence comes up a lot and the same can be said about being long distance. When you’re spending three out of four weeks of the month without your partner, you’d miss out on a hell of a lot if you weren’t willing somethings on your own. What’s the big deal about going on dates to the cinema anyway? You’re sitting in a dark room and can’t talk. Perfect alone time!
2. Appreciating what you’ve got. Not only do you appreciate your person more, because you don’t get to see them much, but you appreciate the short time you have together because you don’t want to waste it.
3. Seeing your S.O becomes a mini holiday. Being in a different town, city or country is exciting! Not only do you get a break from your own life back home, but you have the perfect tour guide because your S.O actually lives there.
4. No make-up Skype dates. My boyfriend doesn’t even like using the webcam, so I get to be gross as I want while we chat or watch a film online together. Although sometimes I turn on the webcam just to show him how gross I look.
5. Boring tasks are exciting when you do them together. Maybe this is just me, but I love doing the food shop with my boyfriend because we never get it usually. Getting to cook meals together is also super exciting.
6. Time for what you love, and they don’t. You’re not having to worry about if they’re going to enjoy the stuff you want to do because you have plenty time to do it when they’re back home. Then you can just save your time together for doing the stuff you actually want to do as a couple and will both enjoy.

Don’t get me wrong, I personally would never choose to be long distance, but being away from the person I love for the last two and half years has given me a chance to become my own person while reaping the benefits of having a BF. It’s easy to feel alone when your partner is so far away from you, but taking a moment to think about the good parts of long distance might make that time apart a little easier.

Photo credit: Brian Lawes